theplanlaugh:

Maybe instead of just thinking about how much you’re gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things you’re not gonna miss.

(via fyeahfriendsgifs)

It never fails to amaze me, the things I love about being home.

• I love how my mom blasts music that is more mainstream than what I have ever listened to.
• I love sitting in church: singing, playing hand bells, or literally, just sitting.
• I love the walk from my house to the lake.
• I love that my dog will wait for our entire family to sit down to eat dinner before she starts to eat.
• I love that I can play the piano. A real piano.
• I love that my brothers are willing to talk with me about their lives.
• I love that my bed is big, so I can sprawl.
• I love that I feel like I’ve been missed.
• I love that I can lock myself out of the house, and not mind sitting outside for two hours, waiting to be let in.
• I love seeing those people whom I have not seen in what seems like years.
• I love that, when I look out my window, I can see the huge tree that has been growing since we built this house. Our house is protected by three big trees, and when I look out at them, I really feel like we are in our own special place. This really is home.

Home, sweet home. Indeed.

Oh, Joey. Sweet Joey.

(via theoneincentralperk)

Well, I figure this one will be obvious. 

Daria, 

When my roommate moved out, I took it pretty badly. I don’t know why, I knew she wasn’t moving out because of me. I was just so scared that when she moved out, another had to move in, and I didn’t want to chance getting some psycho. But then B came up to me and goes, “So, you know how you and Liz want to room together? I think I know a way we can make that happen.” Some things changed themselves around, and you ended up moving in with me, and I tell myself pretty much every day how lucky I am that you are my roommate. We are different people, but we share a lot of the same values, and so living with you is easy. Plus, having someone else in the room helps me sleep… kind of. AND you don’t get annoyed with my sleep talking, which makes you basically a saint. 

Billy,

There’s a very good chance that you will never read this, but it’s nothing I haven’t said before. You were one of the first people I became friends with at Northern, and our connection was almost immediate. Yes, it was your job to make friends with us, but I don’t think the job description includes an all-nighter, week two, just talking. You are constantly giving me a fresh perspective on my life, and I hope I can do the same for you. You listen through all my stupid drama, and you are actually there to care, listen and help. I have never had a friendship as bluntly honest and open as this one, and it has definitely been an experience. I appreciate you so much, and I’m going to miss you when you graduate. 

Kyle,

HOLA! Yes, you’re in here too, of course. You are a wonderful friend, and probably the sweetest guy I have ever known. You are just like, this big ball of light that can’t help but brighten up any situation. You inspire me - have I told you that before? Probably. You are so excited about life, and everything the world has waiting for you. You are willing to work your ass off and reap the benefits of all that hard work. I have yet to come across someone who is as excited about their future as you, and honestly, I think you lit a fire under me. All through college so far, I have just sort of been going through the motions to get everything done. But now, I am trying to figure out my future, which I should have been doing all along. So, thanks for that. 

Tom, 

It is so nice to have another English major on the floor to help me understand what the hell I am supposed to be doing! Sometimes, we don’t always understand each other, and we definitely don’t always agree. But despite all that, you are one of the greatest friends I have, and I am so glad I met you and that we are friends. You add that splash of poetry in my life, and honestly - who doesn’t need that? It is such a gift to have a friend who is so different from you, but the one big common factor is where we plan to go with our lives. I know that seems lame to you, but if you know me at all, you’ll know I don’t care if you think it’s lame. I’ll still say it anyway. 

The rest of B5,

I love you all. Seriously. 

All my love,

Kate.

P.S. How fitting that this should be posted on the first day of the spring semester? Good luck, all of you!

Ren…

There is something special to be said about the friend you grew up with. Every embarrassing childhood memory, every triumphant piano recital… everything happened with you - we went through it together. One thing about knowing someone forever, though, is you learn all about what makes them tick. Well, you learned that with me, and our whole friendship became a competition that no one would ever win. But things are better now, and I’m glad. There are so many good things about keeping childhood friends in your life. 

Honestly, there is not much more I can say. Love you, Ren.

All my love,

Kate.

Emmaline Rose.

To me, just “Emma”.

I know you technically don’t live out-of-state, as your house is about ten minutes away from mine, but your school is on the Gettysburg battlefield, and your family is preparing to be Eastward bound. I miss you already, so I am considering you my out of state friend. 

We had a rocky start, sure, but honestly? Who even cares? Our relationship has changed so much over the past three years that I can’t even begin to imagine our relationship ever was what it was. Does that even make sense? It just doesn’t matter that we started so shakily. We were both given false impressions of the other, and it kind of doomed us, but we got over that. I helped you and you helped me. I had already been through what you were going through, and we bonded over that. Yes, being dumped by Ass-hat McMello was definitely not the ideal thing to have in common. But hey, we’ll take what we can get.

Now, we both know the truth about who the other person is, and it is one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. I do not want your family to move, because out of everybody I am friends with, you are one of probably two people to whom I can speak my entire thought process, without fear of judgement or offense. I appreciate you so much, and I know our friendship will stay strong when your family moves. I will do my best to make sure it does not dwindle into those forgotten friendships we all have had so many of. We’ve worked really hard to get to where we are, and I don’t want any of it to change. I realize the world can’t stop for anyone, but I plan on you being one of my life-long friends. I hope that’s okay with you, because you are kind of stuck with me.

All my love,

Kate

Hey,

I was a very lucky girl, growing up with two younger brothers. When we moved to a new town, they were the only constants - the only people that I did not have to let go of, to some extent. We were really young, so when we made new friends, we made friends with the entire family. Yours was one of the first families we met, and our ages all basically matched up, and with that, we all became something like brothers and sisters. We would get annoyed of each other, pester each other, goof around with each other and care about each other. You would play with my brother, and I was friends with your elder sister. Then, we all grew up… a lot. People change, but something still kept me and my brothers tied to your family, even though there was A LOT of discord. After a few years of tension, you and I joined a choir for Youth Leadership Conference.

You were about a year younger than me, so you couldn’t drive. I drove to every practice, and you didn’t mind that my father would make me take the scenic route (this was due to my terrible mistakes when trying to take the expressway - which, you were also with me for). We would talk, laugh, dance and sing all the way to wherever we were going. You made me comfortable to just be myself, and after all the drama that had gone on in my life, it was a breath of fresh air to have fun and not care about any of it. You helped me catch my breath, and I can’t thank you enough. 

Now, it’s a little different. We still love each other, and are happy to see each other. But, we are both in college now, and your school is definitely a long drive away. I only see you on the rare occasion that we are both home and at church. We will talk and hug and smile for a good ten minutes, and then it’s goodbye, until next time. I definitely miss talking to you. I miss our car rides. Honestly, I miss how our lives were when we were 6-and-7-year-olds. But I am glad you are finally realizing your path for the rest of your life, and I am so proud of you I could bust. Good luck, man. We’ll chat soon enough.

All my love,

Kate

You.

I have nothing to say to you, and somehow, I have everything in the world to say to you. It’s all very confusing.

We’ll start from the beginning. You asked me out, obviously. We dated for a while. A really long while, actually. We fell into something we thought was love, but what did we know? We were really young, let’s be real. Then, you dumped me by using the gift of words you thought you had. In a letter. An analogy about a school bus. Like, what? Again, we were young. So I’m not going to dwell on any of that, even though that letter had been spread around the school by the third day of my single status. It was probably one of the most embarrassing things ever to happen to me in my life. But, whatever. Not the point.

As much as I hate to admit this, you know me. You know everything about me and exactly who I am. Or, exactly who I was, anyway. My parents tell me that you ruined me. A big part of me thinks they have a point. I used to be a really happy person. I would always find a reason to smile, because frowning was just too much effort. It was not worth my time to feel sorry for myself. I had some self-esteem issues, but what fifteen year old girl doesn’t, huh? But you…

You pulled me every which way, keeping me tied to you for the rest of high school. You would tell me that your feelings for me never really went away when you were dating other girls. You would bring me in the middle of your other relationships so I looked like that bad guy, crazy ex-girlfriend who could not get over the magnificent catch that is you. And you know what? None of that even bothered me. I couldn’t let it bother me, I had enough to deal with. But you dug your teeth in and would not let go. You would constantly say things to upset me, but then apologize later, and I, of course, would forgive you and we would move on. I continued to confide in you, since you would confide in me. Then, the real pain happened. You told my friend that I was stupid. Oddly enough, that really hurt me. It was official. You lied to me about everything. 

I changed. I don’t let people in, now. Thanks for that.

Obviously, you have not changed, though. When you randomly showed up at my house a couple months ago while I was away at NIU, then met up with me when I came home, you were pulling all the same crap. Apparently, two and a half years can go by without speaking to each other, and I can still manage to be a problem in your relationship. You’re pathetic, and I really wish you would stop pretending that we are still tied together in friendship. 

Just so you are aware, though, I am completely over it. You have no hold on me anymore, though you definitely still think you do.

-Kate

[So, I already wrote him a letter when I graduated, and I had it on my computer. So, I’m going to publish that here before I type my current letter to him.]

May 2009—-

Dear Mr. Nedzel,

I was talking to my mother about the end of high school approaching, and how nervous, yet excited I was to get out of Lincoln-Way. I immediately digressed into band and how much I loved it and was going to miss it. She gave me a little smile and said, “You’re going to miss Mr. Nedzel, aren’t you?” I replied, “Of course I’m going to miss him - he’s my favorite teacher!” She then told me that maybe it was something I should tell you. As a teacher herself, she said it was always nice to hear from a student when she has impacted them in some way, and she imagined the same would apply to you. Originally, I was just going to come out and say it: “Mr. Nedzel, you’re my favorite teacher.” Then I realized how lame that was. Instead, I will tell you WHY.

It’s so weird knowing that high school is over, knowing that I’ll never be in Marching Knights again, knowing that I’ll never sit in your class and knowing that I’ll probably never remember to use proper grammar when asking to do something (Can I go to the bathroom? I don’t know, can you?). However, the weirdest part of all this is that I am actually going to miss all of it. You helped make high school what it was for me. You were such a big part of my daily schedule (I’m graduating with seven Nedzel credits. That’s crazy!). My freshman year, I was actually quite shy, coming into a new, big school. Then, second semester in Symphonic band, I was moved up to second chair, giving me a weird little confidence boost (I was fourth chair first semester). When I was moved up, while we were playing “West Side Story,” was when I had my first “Katie Katula!” moment in your class. It was the first time you yelled at me (first time you spoke to me, from what I can remember), and you weren’t even mad. Then you gave it a few weeks, and then proclaimed me the “voice of the trumpets” (you even wrote it in my yearbook!). Not sure it you meant it as a compliment or an insult, but I took it with a smile. You kind of gave me my place, and it was fun. I liked being the voice.

Then sophomore year came, and I was moved into Wind Symphony, where I remained for the rest of high school. I must admit, I was never scared of you. The only thing about you that ever made me nervous was your feverish handwriting during a placement audition or playing final. My mom even knew how much I looked up to you and respected you. Sophomore year was a rough one for me, and my grades were taking a hit because of it. So, she sent you an email asking you to talk to me, because she knew that I would listen to you, and talk to you. It was a really rough year for me, and my mother was right, I probably wouldn’t have listened to anyone, but the fact that you took time out of your day to sit with me in the music library meant more to me than you can imagine. I still carry that with me to this day. You really do care about your students, and that is what makes you a great teacher. I know you claim to hate all of us, but we both know that’s a big joke. If you hated all of us, you wouldn’t put your time and energy into making us the great people that we are becoming. I know you have influenced who I am as a musician, but more importantly, as a person. You even offered to review my English papers! I never gave them to you, because I figured that would immediately make you regret the offer. However, I think I know you well enough to know that, during that horrible year, you just might have revised an English paper for me.

I know this seems corny, like signing a high school yearbook or something (we all know how much you HATE yearbooks). I just thought that my mom was right. You deserve to hear what a great guy you are. You hear it from the other music department staff all the time, but I thought that standing and clapping for you wasn’t enough to let you know how much I appreciate everything you do, every single day. You have put up with me for the past four years, and for the past two, you’ve had me in more than one class. I know that sometimes, I annoy you. Sometimes, I probably make you a little mad, but you have always put up with me. I talk to you every single day, and I know that I am going to miss you as much as I am going to miss all of my friends going away to school. And, seeing as you are graduating too, I figured a corny letter like this would make you smile a little bit. 

Thank you for all you have done for me in these four years. I’m glad I could be here for the entire second half of your LWC career. Thanks for always being there to talk to. Even though you probably didn’t know it, all those goofy conversations really did make my time at LWC more enjoyable. It was nice having an adult to look up to who I could trust and talk to. At the last band concert, my favorite part was the end. The audience gave you a standing ovation, and the band stood up with them, applauding you. It was our last concert at Lincoln-Way, and I couldn’t have thought of a better way to end it than applauding to thank you for all you’ve done for us - all you’ve done for me. It really is only a small showing of the effect you have had on this school and your students. Thank you for being such a great guy. 

Your grateful student.

January 2012—-

Mr. Nedzel,

I miss you so much. Everything I felt then, I still feel now. After you were gone, my brother, Brad, said something to me, which I will never forget. He said, “You wouldn’t be you without Mr. Nedzel.” He couldn’t have been more right. The poignancy and hard hitting truth of that statement is the only way I can think to express to you how much of an impact you have had on my life. 

“I know I’m who I am, today, because I knew you.” That song was sung at your memorial service. I’ve never felt anything more strongly. 

When someone departs this life, we are always left with feelings of sadness and regret. While at first, memories of you made me cry, now? Now, all I can do is smile when I am reminded of you. Nothing has changed. You will always be my favorite teacher.

All these words, but really only one thing needs to be said. Something every generation of Marching Knights will understand: SIAM.

RIP, Snedzel, until we meet again.

Your grateful student with all my love,

Kate.

Hey…dreams?

It’s going to be hard to write to you, especially since I don’t even really know what you are. From what I do know of you, I have to admit, you’re kind of intimidating. 

Most of my dreams are incredibly realistic, just unlikely. For example:

• Get a job as a librarian.
• Publish a book.
• Get married and have children.
• Leave Illinois.

See? All realistic. Most are unlikely. I’ve always been a dreamer, but I don’t have a lot of faith in any of my hopes. Before I can pursue any of these, I have to learn to be a little lot braver.

Not much more to be said.

-Kate